NY Sports Dog: Susan Boyle For Oliver Perez

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Susan Boyle For Oliver Perez

Susan Boyle For Oliver Perez

Hey folks, it’s Mack.

I love this blog sharing idea. I now write, over at my blog, http://www.macksmets.blogspot.com/, exclusively on the minor league Mets system, so I really don’t get a chance to share my thoughts on the Mets.

I was telling someone over at http://www.flushinguniversity.com/, that I have learned that the only way you can write objectively about a sports team you are either assigned to write about, or choose to write about, it’s best not being a fan of the same team. You write much more objectively if there’s no emotion in the middle of you and your laptop.

Which gets me to Oliver Perez.

You see, now I can piss and moan about the Mets over here on Dave’s site and he can come over there and say whatever the heck he wants to say about the minors.

Or, he could also write about Oliver Perez.

So anyway, it’s time to do my ole ‘if I was Omar’ thread, although, being Omar may not a safe place to be either. The facts are simple:

1. Oliver Perez has to be removed from the rotation
2. Oliver Perez can not be sent to the bullpen… his head couldn’t take it
3. Oliver Perez has to be sent to Buffalo to work things out.

Does he have options? And, how does that work? Do the Mets DFA him and pray someone picks him up on waivers? And if someone does, do they eat the contract? Too many questions
Which gets me to the solution… I.I.W.O. (if I was Omar…)

1. Get Tim Redding on the cell… tell him he’s got nine days to get his ass to Queens… let the pitching coaches work out how many rehabs that would be…

2. Redding won’t be ready for the next time Ollie was suppose to pitch. I’m not going to do another of those embarrassing call-Figgy-up-for-1-game-then-dump-him fiascos, so I’ll call up either Dillon Gee or Jonathan Niese, both of which have options, for that one game needed.

3. Send that pitcher down when I activate Redding and give Tim the job through June.

4. Call Ollie up in his Buffalo hotel… explain to him what his agent told me when he was signed… it’s a business… if he gets upset, give him the cell phone number of that Yankee dude Chung Ming Wang, or whatever the hell his name is… and let the two of them text themselves for a month…

5. Go to http://www.mlb.com/

6. Start this procedure with the team with the least amount of wins in baseball… that’s Washington… err… never mind them, they’re in the same division and Redding was probably the best pitcher they had last year… we’re looking for teams that will be out of it by the ASG that might want to dump salary…

7. That’s either Baltimore or Cleveland… I’ll start with Cleveland..

8. They have 5 starters… Cliff Lee… Fausto Carmona… Carl Pavano (hahahahah…), Aaron Laffey… and Anthony Reyes…

9. Go to http://mlbcontracts.blogspot.com/

10. Click on the Cleveland section…

11. Cliff Lee has a 2010 club option, but then he’s gone, 5.75mil in 2009… Carmona is signed through 2013, with a club option in 2014… paying him only 4.9mil next year… who cares about Pavano… Reyes has a 412K one year contract so nothing would be saved here… and I don’t even know what an Aaron Laffey is…

12. This one’s easy… the resigning of Cliff Lee by the Indians will cost them big bucks, probably much more than they want to spend… a quick look at his record and facts… 5 starts in 2009… 1-3, 3.94… 77-42 over 8 years for the Indians… turns 31 in August… a lefty…
And that’s how it works. You target a realistic situation, team by team, and place the call. Just like you did for Santana:

4 Prospects:

#1 – (pick one): SPs Jonathan Niese, Dillon Gee, or Mike Antonini
#2 - OF Fernando Martinez
#3 – (pick one): SPs Dillon Owen, Tobi Stoner, Elvin Ramirez, Scott Shaw, or Eric Niesen
#4 – Pick one): RP Eddie Kunz, C Francisco Pena, 1B Nick Evans, or 2B Greg Veloz
Repeat this step, team after team, until someone says yes.


Dave Singer said...

Great piece Mack.....but....but...but....Fernando Martinez too???

I do NOT want him traded at all.

That's really the issue--we don't quite have the horses right now....close, but pull FMart out, and then what?

Mack said...

Sorry Dave... F-Mart is your bargaining chip.

Dave Singer said...

Are you saying we can't get Susan Boyle if we don't include FMart?

What about the blond chick with the tattoo right arm from this season's American Idol?

Could we get her instead?

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