My Plan to Take Over Citizen's Bank Park

Yes my friends, I am pulling out ALL the stops this year to ensure Met domination of the NL East.

Step 1: Take over Citizen's Bank Park

"How?" you ask.

Simple my amigos, I am going to work there as a "Phanstormer".

I call this project "Code Name Foli".

A Phanstormer is a energetic person who goes around trying to make the game experience more enjoyable for Philly fans.

Here is the job description:

Phanstormers - Philadelphia Phillies (Philadelphia, PA)

The Philadelphia Phillies are hiring energetic, versatile performers to join the 2010 Phanstormers. Phanstormers entertain the crowds at Citizens Bank Park before and during Phillies' home games. They welcome fans to the ballpark, perform Happy Birthdays and participate in prize giveaways. Phillies are looking for outgoing, friendly individuals to join the crew - improvisers, comedians, jugglers, magicians, musicians, etc. A love for baseball is a plus but not a necessity.

Auditions and interviews will be held on Sunday, February 28th from 6:00 to 10:00 p.m. at Citizens Bank Park BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. Please call Chris Long, Director of Entertainment at (215-218-5219) for more information and to schedule an audition.

Please come prepared to have fun and to showcase any special skills & talent. This a non-union, paid position.

Apply for this position

After I'm hired, the plan is to lay in wait until the first time the Mets invade Citizen Bank Park, and then put my evil plan in place.

During the 7th inning stretch, I will unleash my Mr Met t-shirt, get on top of the Philly dugout, and set a Philly Phanatic doll on fire while mooning Chase Utley and singing Meet the Mets.

Who among you has the courage to join me?

I would appreciate if one of you were at least ready with bail money.